Best Health Food Advice Ever: "Stop Eating Sh*t!"

Lately I've been a wee bit obsessed with Jennifer Aniston. Everything about her--stylish clothes, shiny hair, seemingly ageless skin, a slew of hunky ex-boyfriends--makes me envious, but most of all, a body at 41 that most 21 year-olds strive for. In a decision to learn more about my celebrity crush, I researched her workout routine: Yoga--Check. Running--Check. Pilates--Check, check. I'm doing everything right, right? I asked myself, whilst biting into a chocolate Twizzler. Wrong. Then, I asked myself a most imperative question: WWJAE--What would Jennifer Aniston eat? Again I researched. And I found my answer in the UK's Harper's Bazaar: "Just stop eating sh*t every day."

Oh Jen, you're a hoot! Now step away from the Twizzlers, I beckoned (then I made a firm decision to stop talking to myself).

Seriously though, Jen's right (and not just because she's my lady-love): When exactly did we start making ourselves believe that it's "ok" to eat junk food...everyday? Remember those chocolate Twizzlers? My parents post-mailed me two packages for my birthday in mid-March. I'm embarrassed to say how many are left...of the second package.

That's not to say that we shouldn't have our vices. Vices that straddle the line of good and evil that we allow ourselves--in reasonable doses--daily. The three things Jen will never give up? (and why I love her even more): Dairy, coffee and wine.

We really are meant to be. Ever since discovering FAGE (pronounced "fa-yeh") yogurt, I really don't think life has been the same, so giving up dairy is out of the question. Coffee, this is a fairly new discovery (addiction) for me since beginning my current job 8 months ago. A devoted tea drinker, things changed when the 11-hour days kicked in (sometimes 15 when we're on the road), and coffee became a necessary evil. But, what's good enough for Jennifer Aniston, is definitely good enough for me. As for wine, I think by now it's running through my veins. Wine is literally my lifeblood--my work, my play, my hobby, my passion. Not even Jen could tear us apart.

See, she is human! I do think Jen is onto something. Tonight I let my Twizzlers live another day. I'm sure they're lonely, tucked away in a top drawer in the kitchen...wedged between the Reese's Peanut Butter Cups and coconut pocky sticks (doesn't everyone have a chocolate drawer?), but I'm also sure my body is breathing a sigh of relief. Jen's right, I don't need to eat sh*t everyday. And if there's ever a time to heed the advice of my elders, I think now is that time.

Food Porn: Foods that Make You Go Ooh, Aah, Mmm

Disclaimer: After reading, some of you may never drink a lychee martini, peel an English cucumber or pour gravy over your mashed potatoes (don't ask, it's a British thing) again. As for the rest of you, let's just say you might find yourself asked to leave the produce aisle for excessive loitering. Just sayin'...

If life imitates art, food sometimes emulates sex. It stares us in the face as we open the pickle jar taunting, "I dare you to savor me slowly without laughing." It wiggles, jiggles and resembles body parts in ways that are just...curiously too close to the real thing (thanks to my former Prevention editor, Denise, I discovered that, ahuacatl, the Aztec name for avocados, has the literal translation "tesicle tree" for the way the fruit dangles (insert childish giggle) from the tree. Food sets rules and boundaries like not being allowed to peel a banana in front of co-workers or eat a Tootsie pop in front of men after the age of 15. Yeah, it was cute when I licked candy canes at age 5, but sitting next to my dad and sucking on a striped stick just seems wrong nowadays. On the other hand, food can also be a tool for seduction. I've been at numerous sporting events where I've choked down mystery meat between a bun just to turn my date on. To spice things up in the bedroom, I've even blurted the word "kelbasi" during foreplay a few times (uh, it's a Pennsylvania thing). And guys, is there anything better than watching a chic eat a popsicle in the summertime? Or anytime for that matter?

No matter what the fruit, vegetable, meat or other edible is, food itself has phallic connotations no matter how you slice it (wah-waah). We use food as terms of endearment, sugarlump, cupcake, sweety pie, muffin and peanut. Body parts correspond to similar-looking or seeming foods: I couldn't help but think of my most feminine bits as I drank my lychee martini this weekend (sorry!), and my friend Ryan makes his girlfriend purchase English cucumbers because it's just too emasculating to feel up a vegetable for proper ripeness. I looked around the kitchen, thought about what I had cooked, baked, sauteed and eaten in the past week, and got to thinking. Things get downright sexy in the kitchen without us even knowing.

Action words: Kneaded dough, Massaged meat, Toasted buns, Spread butter, Slathered jam, Peeled skin, Squeezed lemons, Beat eggs and my personal favorite--Whipped cream

Food Desriptors: Tender, Soft, Round, Long, Hard, Rubbery, Thick, Gooey, Bulbous, Succulent, Slimy, Supple, Salty, Juicy, Spicy, Creamy, Raw

Foods that are Overtly Phallic by Name Alone: Nuts, Berries, Sausage, Melons, Rubs, Breasts, Meatballs, Kumquats and UCSC's official mascot, the Banana slug (ok, ok, maybe not a food, per se, but definitely some sort of delicacy with a striking resemblance to what one anonymous friend said looked more like a penis than most penises she had seen. I'm working on setting her up with a real man...)

The Sexiest Drink Alive

And then, there are the not-so-obvious...I discovered her at Nopa. Her name: White Manhattan. She was stunning. Her vessel was slender and petite. The sheen of condensation on the glass glistened like that of post-coital sweat, and it took everything I had not to run the tip of my tongue along the slope to check for salt. Her nose was floral and perfumed, subtle and not a bit overwhelming. She was everything I love about a Bourbon, in female form. Whiskies want her; Wine coolers want to be her. You see, she didn't scream sex. No, but she had a healthy self-awareness about her that commanded my respect. Each sip flowed down my throat with a gentle sting like a light, sexy slap-on-the-ass. And like Jessica Simpson to John Mayer, I think I've found my sexual napalm--in a glass.

So you see, food--and drinks alike--satisfy in more ways than simply satiating our appetite. They quench our thirst for other bodily needs as well and link us to sexuality in ways that can be downright bizarre. And really folks, why pay for porn when you've got plenty in your refrigerator... ; )

Oblogatory Commitment: Change is Good

Many of you reading this may have received my "call to arms" today. I guess what I'm trying to achieve is an alternative community (online, "obvi") that recognizes and appreciates that food and wine brings our society together. I carefully chose the word society because many cultures have been enjoying this benefit of all things edible for centuries. Here in America, we're just catching on. This blog will be about everything but the abuse of food and alcoholic beverages, but rather, the celebration of them. I write this as a fruit fly falls into my glass of Ravenswood Merlot--even gnats want to enjoy la dolce vita! (And I ask, does the 5-second rule still count in wine?)

I decided not to completely scrap my original blog and opted to revamp it with this announcement as well as my request to all of you. There will be change. Tone will be sassier, frequency will increase and engagement will be highly encouraged! In the future, I'll be exploring more organic ways food and wine really influences and affects our everyday lives, relationships, outlooks, focus and energy. For instance, What Food Inspires You? At the moment, I'm eating chocolate and drinking red wine (the glass the bug jumped in) and typing faster than I have since my middle school keyboarding exam. Maybe it's the sugar, but hey, it's all up for debate. I'll also be examining the comical side of food and wine, the funny things we do, eat, drink and even the old adage, "We are what we eat..."

In turn for what you choose to share with me, I'll be churning your responses into stories. The tales can be gross, funny, intriguing, informative or downright outrageous. What's the most phallic food you can think of? Do you drink wine coolers when no one is looking or just when you're back in PA with your Aunt Bonnie? What's the food you eat when your husband goes to bed? Are you secretly fantasizing about Giada De Laurentiis while you're girlfriend's trying to mimic her recipe for Ligurian Fish Stew (true story...I think about her every time Chris heats up a frozen pizza)? What was the tipping point when you knew you couldn't live without your morning cup of joe? And the one I'm dying to know: Did you really stop drinking for 9 months while you were pregnant?

Maybe I've become a bit voyeuristic in my quest to revive my blog. Maybe I'm just trying to learn more about my friends or people's habits in general in regards to food and wine. What I'm sure of is that we all have a...special relationship with food and wine. What I'm seeking to find out is how we behave while in the presence or under the influence of them and how we react to one another when we're all in the same room.

Food + Wine + People = Community. Join me...

Chocolate Covered WHAT?!

My name is Tanya Beers, and I'm a snack fiend and chocoholic. When my two identities collide, it's cosmic, and when I find a snack I can't stop eating, I want to share with the world. Trader Joe's Chocolate Covered Edamame are my snack du jour, with their smooth, rich chocolate coating and nutty inside with just a hint of salt. Don't be fooled by the name: These are not cooked edamame, rather raw soy nuts, so don't be freaked out when you bite one open and you see green!

Mmm, I buy this sweet, dark, chocolatey snack only a few times a year. My lack of self-control around them makes it impossible to buy them more frequently. But, I somehow don't feel so bad munching on these smooth-on-the-outside, crunchy-on-the-inside treats since each serving (1/4 cup = ~30 beans or a palmful) packs a whopping 7 g of soy protein and 5 g of dietary fiber. Don't get me wrong, the 11 g of fat (including 6 g saturated) in each serving doesn't necessarily make my day, but it still beats a candy bar!

Scientists say soy can slightly improve LDL ("bad") cholesterol levels, and can help ladies' arteries and bones stay strong after menopause. Dark chocolate is choc full 'o antioxidants, known to protect the body from free radicals and keep you living longer (could my beloved snack be one step closer to the Fountain of Youth?). (Non-scientific) Studies have shown that one's sanity after a dark chocolate session is unbelievably improved, and that you can even turn into a nicer person to be around. Ok for real, some science shows that the increase in blood pressure and blood sugar after a dose of the dark stuff might give you a temporary euphoria.

From a late night treat to an afternoon pick-me-up, I highly recommend these sweet, nutty little beans. You won't regret it...they're just soy good.

Trader Joe's - $3.29 per 10 oz container

Sip of the Week--Guava Mojito

The days are longer and the sun's rays are warming up the city. I don't know about you, but for me, this is the time to search the town for the best Spring cocktails! (I'll be drinking a lot for the upcoming posts...stay tuned.)

After an afternoon of errand-running and gym-going, I patiently waited for Chris to finish up his work for the evening (though he might say "impatiently"), so we could get our happy-hour on. We headed to the Marina neighborhood, but as we walked down Chestnut Street, every bar seemed to be filled to the gills, especially the newest of them, the Tipsy Pig. Chris and I weren't really looking for a scene. We were just two kids looking for a decent watering hole. I suggested we try Mamacita's, as I started to get a mouth-watering craving for a margarita with a salty rim, but warned Chris that we might encounter the same crowded reception there. Instead, we were surprised to find plenty of room at the usually-packed bar, and pulled up a stool.

I'm not one to buy flavored alcohols, but I am willing to give a drink a try when it contains these fusion liquors. Such was the case at Mamacita's. I admit, my interest has waned in the average Mojito cocktail since the great Mojito Boom of 2003, but the sound of a Guava Mojito intrigued us enough to order one. I'm sure the drink can be made in a variety of ways, but Mamacita's makes hers with Cruzan Guava Rum as the main liquor. Muddle in some mint and lime juice and top it off with ice and club soda, and you've got yourself a refreshing Spring/Summer beverage. Salud!

Guava Mojito Recipe (Makes 1)*

3 oz Cruzan Guava Rum

3 sugar cubes

6 mint leaves

2 oz lime juice

2-3 oz club soda (optional)

Ice cubes

Place sugar cubes, mint leaves and lime juice in a rocks glass and begin muddling.** Once sugar cubes disolve, pour rum into a shaker with ice. Combine muddled mixture with rum and ice mixture and shake. Using a glass of your choice (rocks if you want less club soda, high ball for more), fill with ice and pour in shaken ingredients. Fill to the top with club soda and garnish with mint sprigs.

*Ingredients are the same as Mamacita's, but the recipe is not from the restaurant.

** Muddling requires a muddler or other wooden tool with a blunt end to crush and meld ingredients together.

Moseying Around Wine Country--A Tour of Napa Valley's Silver Oak and Quintessa Vineyards

...Or as we like to call it in the wine industry, Wednesday.

The no-end-in-sight recession we're experiencing makes it tough for this girl to complain. I'm a long way from Pennsylvania, living in one of the best cities in the world, with not one, but two jobs in an industry that I love, wine. I reside a mere 45 minutes from wine country, and I'm able to visit often for business and pleasure. Wednesday was a mix of both. Our company threw a "Spring Fling" at two wineries in the Napa Valley region, Silver Oak and Quintessa.

Our trek began early, 8 am, and as one co-worker put it, "Why do we have to start our 'Fun Day' earlier than our work day?!" But as anyone who's been to wine country knows, you must start the day early in order to get your tasting in by 5 when most wineries shut their doors for the day. The day started calmly. We filled our bellies with donuts, scones and other breads that would later be soaking up wine. We were on our way!

Silver Oak...

When we arrived at Silver Oak's new facility in Oakville, a field of mustard greeted us along the driveway. (March/April mark "Mustard Season" in Napa Valley where the plant grows abundantly.) Upon walking into the winery, glasses of sister winery Twomey's 2006 Russian River Pinot Noir were lined up along a counter in the reception area. Silver Oak recently opened the doors to its new Napa Valley Estate in the fall of 2008 after rebuilding due to a fire several years ago. We were divided into two groups, and ours was the first to tour the steel tanks where batches of wine were fermenting. We also had the chance to see some oak barrels being cleaned, and the toasty aromas of wine seeping out of the steaming barrels was delicious--even for 10 am!

Our groups convened in a large tasting area that led to the patio overlooking fields of Sauvignon Blanc vines. Silver Oak has yet to bottle Sauvignon Blanc, but discovered the varietal could grow well at its Rutherford vineyard. In the tasting area, head winemaker Daniel Baron walked us through Twomey's 2005 Napa Valley Merlot and Silver Oak's two 2004 Cabernets. Four wines, three varietals and three vintages later, we rounding up the troops for our next destination, Quintessa.

Silver Oak Wines We Tried...

2006 Twomey Russian River Pinot Noir - Light and smooth with floral aromas. Bright cherry and hints of cinnamon on the palate. Good balance, lingering finish.

2005 Twomey Napa Valley Merlot - Blended with 4% Cabernet Franc to enhance the fruit flavors, the '05 Merlot possesses a deep, garnet color and plenty of plum and blackberry scents. This full-bodied wine is silky in the mouth with light tannins that will mellow with age.

2004 Alexander Valley Cabernet Sauvignon - 100% Cabernet Sauvignon from Sonoma's Alexander Valley. Dark ruby in color, this exhibits beautiful aromas of vanilla, blackberries and licorice. A little too fruit-forward for my liking, as it lacked the spice and earth elements I typically gravitate toward. Still, a juicy wine that should age well.

2004 Napa Valley Cabernet Sauvignon - A Bordeaux-style blend of 86% Cabernet Sauvignon, 7% Merlot, 5% Cabernet Franc and 2% Petit Verdot. More elegant and refined than the Alexander Valley Cab, this wine is darker in color with more purple hues. Dark, dried fruits and even dried flowers appear on the nose, while the tannins make this a "grippier" wine.

Quintessa...

Anyone who's driven down the Silverado Trail is surely struck by the beautiful and iconic winery that is Quintessa. The elegant crescent wall that stretches what seems a football field across the front property serves as both a symbol and gateway to the inner-workings of this Napa Valley winery. I've long admired Quintessa's grace and style, having first tried an '04 vintage at a restaurant I worked at when I initially moved to San Francisco. Without sounding like too much of an obsessed fan, my appreciation for Quintessa stems more from respect than cultish bandwagoning, and yesterday's visit definitely secured this feeling for me.

As we drove up the long, curving driveway, I noticed a running theme with Quintessa: Soft, round, curvy symbols were everywhere (take for example the large "Q" that emblazens each bottle). There is something quite feminine, soft, supple and sexy about not only the wine, but the entire Quintessa estate. If it wasn't created by a woman, whomever created it certainly had a woman in mind...

Our tour proved it was a combination. The husband and wife duo behind the Chilean success story, Veramonte, Augustin and Valeria Huneeus, bought the 280-acre property in 1989. The couple planted the first vines on the property, the last virgin plot of land in the Rutherford appellation at the time. Valeria, a PhD, microbiologist and viticulturalist immediately went to work planning the landscape. Huneeus, a former CEO of Concha y Toro and ex-head of operations for Seagram's, took the helm as business mastermind at the winery. Five hard years later, the Huneeus' produced their first vintage, the 1994, Quintessa.

At Quintesssa, we had the opportunity to be led by Director of Winemaking, Charles Thomas. Thomas, who previously made wine for California big players Robert Mondavi, Domaine Chandon, Cardinale and Rudd, began his tour in the cellar where he explained the winemaking process at Quintessa and then led us into the caves (see right). Here we had our first taste of the 2006 Quintessa, which will be released in May 2009.

From the caves we were bussed to our next destination on the expansive property, the Estate Home. Many wineries have a "family home" on the property where they entertain guests, rent by the night, preserve for friends and family or live themselves. The Quintessa Estate Home was a gorgeous medley of many of these, including an office. The Spanish-style clay home was filled with touches of Valeria, from the agave plants at the doorstep to the sophisticated decor inside. We had our lunch al fresca, in an open air patio overlooking the property's lake. Once seated at our long table, tastes of 2008 Veramonte Sauvignon Blanc and 2007 Veramonte Pinot Noir Reserve awaited us. Lunch consisted of Ceasar salad, fresh rolls and homemade paella. The wine flowed, the laughter rolled and, like any day in wine country should be, good times were had by all.

Quintessa Wines We Drank...

2006 Quintessa - Drinking wines like the '06 Quintessa make me understand what winemaking is all about. Time, care, dedication to excellence. This soon-to-be-released wine was luscious, filling the senses with a rich, deep berry color, dark fruit on the nose and blanketing the mouth with velvety flavors of blackberry, mocha and spice. Dramatic indeed. If you can afford the $145 sticker, age this beauty for years to come.

2008 Veramonte Sauvignon Blanc - Mmm, one of my favorite whites on the market. This Chilean white is a crisp, zippy The '08 exhibits more tropical fruits, most notably pineapple, than previous vintages, but still maintains its herbacious aroma and minerality on the palate. I might have chugged it if they hadn't provided water!

2007 Veramonte Pinot Noir Reserva - Esteemed California winemaker Paul Hobbs is the consulting winemaker for Veramonte's Pinot Noir. Subtle and soft. Light in color and body, this wine is extremely drinkable, but misses the complexity you'll find in a Burgundy or Oregon Pinot. Chile's Casablanca Valley possesses a similar cool climate that you'll find in the Russian River Valley with cool, coastal breezes and dense morning fog.

2006 Primus - Primus is a deep, dark blend of 36% Cabernet, 31% Syrah, 17% Merlot and 16% Carmenere from Chile's Colchagua Valley. The blend is exotic and the aromas and flavors represent this well. Earth and spice appear on the nose with dark berry fruits and strong tannins on the palate. Not for the faint at tongue, Primus is as powerful in the mouth as its namesake sounds. A dense wine that would pair tremendously with lamb, roast or hearty stews.

2005 Faust Cabernet Sauvignon - Call it Cab, call it a Bordeaux blend, whatever you do, just don't call it the "second label" to Quintessa. While Quintessa is all about the terroir, Faust is a second endeavor, if you will, of the Hunees' in California. After a decade in Napa Valley, Augustin Huneeus decided he wanted to explore beyond his vines and sought out grapes from other successful Napa Valley vineyards--hence, Faust was born. Blending grapes from his own Rutherford estate, Atlas Peak, Yountville, Pritchard Hill and St. Helena, he came up with a Cab-based Bordeaux blend that delivers deep notes of toast and coffee.

100% Natural: Keepin' It Healthy in the Land of Rice and Beans

When my boyfriend, Chris, and I booked our Mexican vacation in early February, the hard work began. I diligently frequented the gym, curbed my late night snack cravings and made my best attempts at keeping my fingers out of the dark chocolate jar. But the buck didn't stop there. I didn't want all of my hard work to go to waste in a week's time (though I suppose that's the point of vacation), but would it really be possible to find "health" food in Mexico? As savvy travelers do, I started doing my homework on Acapulco; nightlife, local flare, museums, activities, the "must-sees and do's", and of course, where to eat.

I thought for certain we'd be subsisting on corn tortillas, cheese, beans, salsa and margaritas for the entire week, which explains the fasting pre-trip (hey, every other day without Dagoba or Dove is fasting for me). Then, I discovered a health food chain throughout Acapulco, "100% Natural". Still, I was a skeptic. After 2 1/2 years in California, I came to realize that when a menu claims "healthy" outside the statelines, it usually means they used a fat free dressing while loading up a salad with cheese and fried chicken, or the their power packed smoothie is filled with "real" fruit only after pouring sugary syrups and faux dairy products on top. Still, my curiosity led me to read further, uncovering that not only were 100% Naturals plentiful across Acapulco, but there just happened to be one directly across the street from our downtown hotel!

Tuesday morning, we awoke in Acapulco and decided to give the restaurant our first try. Located along the busy Costera Miguel Aleman, a bustling street that serves as the main artery through Acapulco, this particular restaurant was open air with a jungle theme. Ferns and large potted plants were abundant while over-sized spider plants hung from the thatched awnings that provided shade from the city's scorching rays and a perch for colorful, chirpy birds. We took a seat along the periphery where we could watch the Volkswagon Beatle taxis speed by and colorful buses stop in front. An interesting side note: In Acapulco, all of the buses are privately owned. It is a flat-rate to ride, either 4.5 pesos for a regular bus or 5.5 pesos for one with air conditioning. Each bus is adorned in its own way, some with advertisements, others with logos proudly displayed on the windshield (i.e. "Brown Pride"), and some will have a guy standing at the doors soliciting customers at each stop. Most seemed to make the same stops, but after a few days, we realized that some riders were loyal to their drivers.

Once we were handed our menus, we were also immediately asked if we wanted coffee and given a basket full of baked "pastries". (We didn't realize until our first bill that the pastries weren't complimentary. Still, they were about $1 USD per cake/muffin.) There is one menu at 100% Natural that includes breakfast, lunch, dinner, beverages and other sides. On this first day we had awoken early enough to order from the breakfast menu. Chris chose the "Azteca", an egg white omelet filled with green chilies, cilantro, oregano and sliced nopal, a green vegetable made from the prickly pear. Crisp nachos (tortilla chips to Americans) with light, refried beans sprinkled with manchego cheese were served on the side. I decided to start my day off with "Copa Tropical", a large fruit salad of papaya, apples, melons and bananas topped with yogurt and their own blend of granola, containing a generous amount of flaxseed. Once our meals arrived, we realized what huge portions we would be in for for the week ahead, but the food was delicious--fresh, ripe and flavorful. The omelet was light and fluffy, not too spicy. The refried beans (light, so possibly made of pintos) were the real hit of of the dish though, tasty and creamy with just the right amount of salt.


I wound up falling in love with 100% Natural's fresh sandwiches on homemade whole grain bread. The portions are extremely generous, so much so that each day I saved the other half of mine for a mid-afternoon snack. Heaped high with shredded jicama, beets, carrots, tomato, spinach and onion, I ordered two variations: the "Patron", turkey jamon (ham) and the "Pollazo", chicken breast and a slice of melted cheddar cheese. Another day I ordered the "Pita Arabe", a vegetarian pita, which wasn't loaded with veggies like the sandwiches, but was packed with hummus and jocoque, a Mexican-style sour cream that's sharp and tangy (reminded me of a cross between sour cream and cream cheese). The pita was warm and moist, and half of it filled me up in no time. Chris was a little more adventurous ordering a new dish each day. On our final day at 100% Natural, he ordered the "Arroz-ole" con pollo (chicken). As per the usual generous portions, a heaping pile of chicken, brocolli and zucchini rested upon a generous bed of wild rice. (Note: Photograph at right is the "Arroz-ole" with tofu.) We also ordered the "Maniac" smoothie, a blend of strawberries, banana, granola and milk. Smoothies come in gigantic margarita-looking glasses and are definitely large enough for two--or more--to share!

Service is fast and friendly, and the menus are in English, making it easy to read and order. What's better is each of our meals averaged out to about $16 (USD), which included two coffees, two pastries and two huge meals. There are a few ingredients listed in Spanish that we had to inquire about or refer to our English-Spanish dictionary, but for the most part, eating at 100% Natural is simple, fast and delicious. Browsing through the menu, we found plenty of healthy selections and each trip definitley beckoned another visit. From fresh squeezed juices and seafood pitas to healthy spins on traditional Mexican dishes, 100% Natural was the perfect solution to those looking for a healthy alternative during their vacacione Mexicana!